So what started as Sudden Sensorineural Hearing Loss on Sunday, led me to Intratympanic Steroid Therapy (VIDEO) (injection of steroid administered through the eardrum) yesterday.  And yes, that hurt.  I blogged a bit about what I was going through this week here.

That all led me to an emergency MRI last night which came back today as 100% normal *big sigh*.  I still have complete loss of hearing in my left ear (with extreme Tinnitus) and moderate loss in my right ear (also with some Tinnitus).

The best and only guess of my Ear, Nose & Throat Specialist is that this is a virus.  I am still on the 10-day Prescription of Prednisone (weening off now) and have now had the topical steroids administered directly into my ear.

Now I just wait.

Wait to hear something other than ringing and random “wooo-shhhs” of noises.

Wait to hear the iTwins singing again and Christmas Carols on the radio.

I’m able to function, in that my dizziness is becoming manageable, but I feel like I am lost in my own head of swirling noises.

I long to hear Q U I E T.

I feel frightened that I cannot hear all the noises in the house and the noises surrounding/alerting me to my children.

One of our toy bins fell on Pinkie (it happened in an instant) and I didn’t even hear it until I saw her laying on the floor with a cut under her nose.

I feel scared to drive or shop at the grocery store.

I can’t sleep at night for fear that I hear one of the iTwins crying for me and I don’t really know if they are….even if I listen down the hallway as closely as possible – it’s making me neurotic.  I’ve been sleeping with the baby monitor right next to my half-good ear while death-gripping my husband’s hand all night long.

My hearing might come back.  It might not – that’s all I know.

Now I just wait.

I have a few friends “knowledgeable in the field” who I’ve been able to talk to and they reassure me that the procedure for treatment thus far has been appropriate.

I’ve also met a wonderful Mommy who went through this Sudden Sensorineural Hearing Loss (SSHL) just 3 months ago and has shared her story and a wealth of information with me.  I’m grateful to cross paths with her for sure and feel for her in what she is also going through (with her lack-of-return of hearing).  We’re going to be buddies with this adventure for sure.

I’m trying to stay positive and not “lose it” — it takes a lot for me to “lose it” and this is becoming “a lot”.

I am thinking about how no matter what the future holds here, I’m so grateful for my wonderful family & friends and how they have all shown me such awesome support this week.

I also can’t help but to think of everyone who is right now suffering through something FAR WORSE than this.  I have many prayers out there right now for various people in my life who ARE indeed going through a hell of their own.  Makes my stupid loss of hearing seem so insignificant in comparison.

I’m just waiting now for some sort of change…even subtle…some sort of relief.

Thanks a million for all of your kind comments this week and helping me through this.

We’re supposed to have snow this weekend in Pennslvania….snow is quiet, so I’m excited to see that.